You’ve become predictable. Just when you where trying not to. The 10 twitterers profiles are here

Hidden behind your Mac (if it’s not just pretend) you would have thought that your real life personality does not show on Twitter. Well you are probably right, but also very wrong. Because without notincing, you are likelly to have developped a second personality ( call it tweeterality). And you’ll be surprised how predictable it’s become.
Here is what I have noticed from the people I ‘follow’.
Which are you?

1- The player.
he just wants to have fun. His tweets are 2nd to 5th degree. @Bogusboguski is a prime example. The less politically correct, the better.
I recommend following a few for a good pause in your frantic life, together with a wake up to reality in a few instances…

2- The virgin.
he does not knwo what to do with tweeter yet, is afraid to tweet just in case it might get him fired. He hasn’t decided yet if he is there as a person or as an employee.
Good ones to have following you since the will not pollute your tweet mail.

3- The stalker.
you’ll notice one quickly when your tweet page is filled by nothing else than their comments. They are compulsive and unbearable. So obsessed with the tool they are forgetting that someone is meant to be listening. A good way to avoid these is to check their recent tweets before following them.

4- The peaker.
A little like the virgin, but they use tweeter to learn. Their time spent in the loo has greatly increased since discovering tweeter. They are desperate to try to understand what the hell social media is. One of the reasons why so many tweets attracting traffic start with ’10 things to know about…’

5- The hunter.
They know social media is a source of business, they are there to make money and take you to their site. You’ll get anything from religious fanatics, to business wanna be evangelists, to the occasional rare really insightful commentators.

6- The recidivist.
Like old time advertisers, they has discovered that to get heard, in busy old twitter, he has to repeat. Can be usefull if you are following too many people, and if his tweets are good, but can also be a complete nonsense.

7- The waiter.
He brings you other people’s tweets. Recidicists and hunters love these and often grace them by following them as payment for services. Very useful to have in your follow group, they’ll help make your voice heard, if you have something interesting to say that is.

8- The gracer.
He knows that you’re interested in nothing else but what they had for dinner. Celebrities make a big proportion of this group, together with the strangest man I ever ‘followed’ who was telling me every second what his wive was doing to him, from pork chops to many other sad things…

9- The lover.
mostly feminine (at least to me thank god), their picture normally features a just about underaged girl shot in a amateur way. She will quickly ask you for a date. the other good thing is that they normally come in herds, one follows you, 20 will soon follow. Respond at your own risk.

10- You
I’m sure you are unique, and that none of this applies. Really? Be honest…


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